Sioux Falls, SD to Badlands, SD

Hello world. We are writing to you from the cozy interior of the Badlands Frontier Cabins. Totally just doxxed ourselves but thats the price you pay for great writing, which this is. As we type away, the google tv is being set up so we can watch a family favorite: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. I love historical nonfiction.

A question for the poeple, please respond in the comments below if you are a TRUE fan of 4girls4runner: if a crab and a spider were in a mile foot race, who would win? 

Today started out with a BANG: missing our 8:30AM hot yoga class. Instead of getting bendy, we got sendy at a favorite HOLE in the wall (hahahahahahaha), Bagel Boy. And BOY, were those BAGELS delicious. Even i impress myself with my wordsmith abilities sometimes. After getting HOLY (lollllll) at Bagel Boy, it was time to get CORNY (rofllllll) at the Corn Palace. What is the Corn Palace, you may wonder? Well, look no further and gaze your eyes upon this sweet sweet corny structure:

At the Corn Palace, Louisa's agricultural instincts told hold, and she began asking things like, "How much do y'all think a pound of sweet corn runs a country girl these days?" and "Do y'all think they'd let go of that sweet thang for a couple bones?" The "sweet thang" she was referring to was in fact a fine piece of farm machinery. 

When Corrine and Madelynne began understandably questioning Lulu's committed to the farm life, considering as of last semester she was committed to CompSci and has never expressed the desire to become a corn farmer, sh*t got REAL. Louisa hopped on the tractor and REVVED that engine, aiming her hostilities at Corrine. 

"She bad"

But the tension did not last long, as bonds are strengthened not broken in the Corn Palace. Everyone knows that sweet sweet friendships are bred from sweet sweet corn. :,)

Corn picture of girls

Anyways, enough of that stupid girl feelings stuff. Lets talk about the SICKEST, most ILL and BAD*SS part of the day: the BADLANDS. YIPEE-KI-YAY mother frickers!!!! From here on out, its only sick hogs, leather cuts, and riding away the pain. 

Motorcycle picture

In the Badlands, Louisa and Corrine quickly became envious of Madelynne's Speed Goat Hokas. She was like, totally crushing it on that hike and they were like really suffering. Remember when we asked whether crabs or spiders were faster? Believe it or not, that had some real world inspiration.

Louisa crab walking

Despite the challenges we all faced, i.e. Corrine losing a family heriloom (her sister's Aeire sweatshirt) and Madelynne wearing a rain jacket despite there not being a single drop of rain, we all fell in love with the mystery and charm of the Badlands. The natural beauty was stunning, and the photoshoots were about as good as they could be.

The exploration was complete. Also, did you know the Badlands are called that because some dumb freakin settlers couldn't figure out how to traverse the terrain, so they were like, "Lets call this the Badlands, cause, you know, the land is bad." Real original guys. Don't quit your day job.

Peak the Cubs hat that ran away from Louisa's head. She must have lice.

According to local legend (Louisa's imagination), the holes are haunted by the ghosts of colonists past. If you are listening really, really, really closely, you can hear them say things like "Meow meow meow. Nom nom, meow meow meow. Space unicorn soaring through the sky, delivering the rainbows all across the world." Those guys were so weird. Glad they're dead lol!

The haunting in the hills

The ghosts really gave us a good scare (although I pretty sure Louisa wanted to pick one up so she could get haunted and have a life long companion) so we had to GTFO. We hopped in our chariot (see more in the "Chariot " tab") and fled the scene. But some questions were left unanswered: where are we going to get some grub? We went to the only place advertised just about 50 bazillion times along route 90, the Wall Drug, to deliberate our options.

A little road trip romance

Don't worry moms and dads, this isn't some psychedelic hang out for burnouts and college kids looking to score. This is the family friendly drug store that has just so many  different fun and exciting items to offer. For example: shot glasses.

 

Get yours for $5.99 today!

Wattle bottle shaped like bullet. John Wayne playing cards. Taffy. BB guns. Hey mom and dad, I'll be sending a Christmas list soon. 

The more we walked around, the more we wanted to stay. But our tummies were a grumbl'n and tensions were beginning rise once again. Y'all remember the tractor incident at the Corn Palace. Corrine cannot take anymore. The doctor say another peg leg could ruin her.

Off to the Red Rock Restaurant we go! Hey, that's the name of our ranch! Nostalgia ran high and Corrine had one goal in mind: BBQ plate. But poor peg leg just can't catch a break. The BBQ platter is only served Thursday through Sunday. Do you know what day it is? Monday. The day of sorrow and no BBQ plates. RATS!!!!!!! Instead, we got some fierce nachos, a burger, and a pork sandwich (like why couldn't they just use the pork from the sandwich for a plate???) and some beef sandwich thing with au jus dip. Solid stuff.

Gimme dat.

Even better, dinner with a view!! Our lucky butts got to see the world's largest chainsaw-carved jackalope sculpture. 

Hell yea.

Bloated and cold, like seriously it's sooooooo cold here. It was really warm in Iowa and Sioux Falls, and we have returned to our humble abode. And Abrahama Lincoln Vampire Hunter has loaded! YYAYAYAYYYAYAy! I can't wait to learn some super interesting facts about one of America's greats. Speaking of American GOATs, how do yall feel about Benjiman Franklin?

We love him up in this cabin, but certain disgruntled ex-roadtrippers have expressed negative feelings about literally the nicest quaker in American history. That guy is so cool and his glasses were on fleek. Please address all love notes about Benji to graceshook@circusfreak.com.

oxooxxoxoxoxoxoxox